here’s a not-so-mini life update

From trying to be mindfully consistent on this blog space, I have gone back to being absent. :p

Anyway, I wanted to talk about this particular day, one of my best days. 

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So recently, I woke up feeling sad and demotivated, just one of those days. Typically, whenever I wake up feeling sad, I tend to resort to this: either I push away whatever it is that I am feeling by immersing myself in a cup of coffee and the book I am currently reading, or I listen to my favorite music. Alternatively, I just sit down to chant or meditate, again to push away or run away from feeling sad. But that day, instead of doing any of this, I realized something.

Suppressing my emotions and ignoring them makes me feel better for a while, sure, but somehow I can sense it all piling up and taking up unnecessary space in my mind/heart/life. No one quite teaches you the healthy ways to articulate all your thoughts so that they don’t add up to the emotional baggage we all carry. 

I haven’t yet mastered the art of fully processing emotions and life experiences. I’m on my way toward that, but this is just an experience I recently had. The reason I want to share it with you all is that I know dealing with life amidst heartbreak or sorrow is not an easy task. The very fact that most of us make it through the bad days is commendable. (I hope you are acknowledging and appreciating yourself every day. If you’re not already doing it, start, and if you are, keep going.)

So, that day I decided “Today I am going to embrace my sadness.” I am going to sit down, do nothing, and will let my thoughts lead the day. 

It’s definitely challenging, but what makes me happy is the belief that 'life’s true meaning often lies in overcoming hardships and appreciating the small things.' If you think about it, the years are passing quickly, the days are flying by, and life happens so fast that most of us don’t even get to experience it fully because we are so busy.

I have always found peace in 'self-talk.' I’m not sure how healthy it is, but I love it. I enjoy asking myself questions and then answering them, like talking to a friend, except here, the friend is me. So, I asked myself what was causing this heaviness and why I woke up feeling like this. It turned out to be the love I still hold for someone, a love that feels unrequited and weighs on my heart. I have loved this person with all my heart, but now that love has no place to go, and it’s just building up and making me sad. So, I reminded myself that it’s okay to feel this way, and that time will heal these wounds.

But my stubborn heart wasn’t ready to let go. So, I tried some positive affirmations, but they didn’t seem to work as well.

I sat on my bed for a while, staring out the window, and that’s when this thought popped into my mind: 'Some days, no matter how hard we try, we won’t feel better. We’ll sit there, staring at a wall or something, with tears welling up in our eyes. We’ll want to love them, be there for them, and turn back time. Our minds will try to figure things out, and we’ll ask ourselves why such a horrible thing happened to us. Why are we so unfortunate? Why, why, why?'

In my opinion, the only answer to the question 'why' lies in embracing these moments. These moments of sadness, grief, and anxiety eventually lead to profound growth. Happiness cannot exist without sadness. It’s like expecting life to be purely good while neglecting the fact that 'good + bad = a balanced life.' There’s a balance, and we all eventually have to accept it to live a healthy life.

Happiness can sprout from the depths of sorrow. Only by experiencing darkness can we truly appreciate the light. The moment you find that understanding between yourself and your sadness will be one of the most fruitful days of your life, believe me. You will experience a shift, mentally, physically, and emotionally. I promise. That day will come to you; you just have to be patient. It comes to everyone, at the right time.

I’m not saying I don’t get sad anymore, but now I feel my heart is full. Whatever happened, happened for a reason, and I’m glad it did. It has helped me and still helps me become a better version of myself. It has taught me to see through impatience and know that happiness is waiting for me around the corner. All I have to do is embrace these moments just as I would embrace the good ones in my life.

I was so obsessed with the idea of life being all joy, constantly trying to keep myself busy with good things, that I forgot to acknowledge how I was falling behind by not paying attention to the sadness in my mind and heart. Sadness isn’t a bad emotion if you think about it. It fosters empathy and connection. It’s through sadness that we often find comfort in the company and compassion of others. It plays a crucial role in personal growth and resilience, challenging us to confront difficult truths, adapt to change, and develop coping mechanisms. It can even inspire creativity, offering a way to express and explore complex feelings.

While sadness may be uncomfortable and painful, it is an essential part of being human. Embracing and understanding sadness allows us to live more authentically.

So now, I don’t feel hopeless or impatient. I’ve learned how to wait, how to let my mind, body, and heart recover from the damage they’ve been through and blossom beautifully again. 

<3